Well, I have to be honest, this wasn't something I mastered, it’s something I had to learn, and practice. I never realized just how many times a day someone tries to steal your joy. They say that Miserere love company and I never thought about that as I went through most of my adult life, I might of heard it a few times from relatives that always seemwed to care and felt it was their responsibility of passing on a few bit of wisdom for me to take along my journeys, but I used to hear allot of those kind of cliché, and as I gathered some of my own personel wisdom along the way as I traveled through life or as being a parent or spouse and taking on the responsibilitys one must in caring for a family.
I actually was made aware on just how serious it is to structure your life around church, family, friends and Education through a program called New Choices, but We get to that in a bit. but first I thought looking at certain foundations might best set the stage to the one single thought that makes my daily experinces go so much smoother, So looking at one choices as they surface as we start our orignal adventures into the unknown called life. yes I miss them, I'm sure many do and will for sure when they to reach their Golden years, as I have, well you ready.
Hopefully your career chooses you, because it what naturally makes you shine and your truly good at it and possibely because it is what you were destined to do anyway But hey that a whole another Hub. Truthfully with everything going perfect in life you can still find your self getting frustrated and stressed with everyday life. Especially as you move closer to your twilight years. It seems like you just wake up one day and you start getting the feeling that those you spent the better part of your life, working with or caring for have moved on and their world doesn’t seem to revolve around you like it once did. I can't speak for others, but it really scared me, I began to think and act out some really strange ways especially in my behavior with others and to be honest, I really didn't notice it at first and didn't react so well when others would hint or just point it out.
The mental and Physical changes started surfacing as I approached sixty, Some didn't phase me, sense I saw so many before me learned to live with them, and it didn't take me long to acquire all those little items that aided me with them, like your Keys, Cell Phone and Car finders. But the things I had the most reaction with was when others would tend to dismiss me from certain job related functions as if I couldn't handle them any longer, then it started at home, Like oh here dad I'll do that for you, or your wife would jump on you about doing certain things by yourself, when I had been doing these thing like forever. Then came the snapping back at people and getting upset or anger over the simplest things without a real serious reason. Like someone using something of mine with out asking, or using something and not put it back if was as if I had forgotten for a few moments that they were a long time friend or family member who had come to believe it was cool, Ha. I most likely in the past would say, hey don't be silly just borror it.. Even when I went to a restaraunt and a waiter left something off my order I had asked for, and what made it worse, instantly everyone would try to cover for me or fix it. so what I didn't realize at this point is that I had over the years stuffed away alot of issues I had encounterd along the way for one reason or another, usually because someones else problem at the time seemly need my attention, rather than dealing with self, and as I will discover in time to come I will resent others because of that choice.
Now to really cap off everything I had an auto accident and Hit my Mouth on the steering wheel and busted out my Permanent parcels, which wasn't cheap to repair. I was so embarrassed about others seeing me with out my upper teeth, and I started dropping out of everything. and dismissing others to go on ahead with out me making matters worse we were having money problems, a Hurricane just happen to go past our House in Down Town Houston, Texas, which really made things difficult to sort out and place prority on, oh and to put the icing on the cake the economy takes a nose dive and I get laid off, so bills start piling up and the Country wasn't faring well it self. and if this wasn't enough on my platter I was in constant pain with some teeth that had dissolved to the gum line as I was using super glue to hold the messed up Parcels back in, because I didn't want to tax our cash flow to cover the problem, yep still stuffing it all in, smiling on surface and screaming inside because I didn't want to dump it on those who need me to be strong. I then stupidly let one of my sons talk me into trying coke on them, to kill the pain. Hey it worked and sense the doctor had cut off my pain medician at the moment it made sense. To make it short I got Busted going out and trying to obtain some on my own, and I ended up in jail, I can't even begin to share with you how I felt inside about life in general, and especially when my family came and saw me through that pane of Plastic, wearing a carrot suit. Iit’s like I went from super Dad to Looser Dad. But as I spent a few months in the county jail, I met a man, who changed my life, Mr. Danny Jones of Harris County Substance abuse program, Its funny they were just going to give me a couple of months in the county, but I decide to see if I could use this time wisely, so I asked the court if I could get into any programming, like anger management, so they offered me New Choices, which was for six months, my family didn't like it at all but, and all but disowned me, letters stopped coming, talk of seperation, and seemly all because I took on the extra time to get the program. Putting my needs before theres, but as I found through group its alway easier to dismissed thing by hanging the blame on others thoughts and actions..
Well! at first I didn't hit off too well with the councilor, we just got off to a bad start, but as the weeks unfolded, I began to note, how much this guy really cared for all these Inmates, If was as if he was going to save them all from themselves. Truly He had to be totally committed to this career, Me I would have thrown my hands up from the get go, these guys were just out of control, constantly trying to run the show, or to better put it take control of the tank, But I had to respect the guy, out of thirty I started with he had turned about half of their lives around and change their entire behavior pattern, including mine. And believe me I didn't make it easy on him; I question everything and reluctantly surrendered one day at time.
I honestly didn't believe I had that serious of an anger problem, and I didn't have anything in common with anyone in there, but he never gave up, and trust me I had really pushed his buttons at time, especially when he hit the nail on the head, with something I didn't even want to address, openly I'd explode and strangely enough everything he asked at first would cause me to explode as if some forced was locked inside just dieing to be released, yes he so diligently worked stripped me of all my stubborn pride and lies I used to cover everything up, because I thought a major part of being a man was to never show weakiness. Being in his group was something I miss at times when little crisis arise even today.
So what did I learn, well that everyman on this planet, should learn and memorize the 12 step of AAA, and that they will never bring their life under control with out surrendering their life over to a Higher power, Actually the first three are life changing, if you choose to except them Which he highly recommended we consider seriously, To Practice the 2nd of the 12 steps. if we wished to bring the others to a greater understanding first. It read "Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity". At the end of this Hub I did type these out for you. He never forced it down anyone’s throat but did how ever through tape or acturally church seminars and sermuns, Which some were really good at getting others to feel and think, then he emphasize family, that we had to except the responsibility of what our action cost our families and community, and what are obligation were to being apart of a family, or worse except the possibility we would eventually lose it. But the things that stuck in my mind the most is those he keep repeating over and over, like the one thing he admitted he wouldn't let anyone do reguardless of the situation " He wouldn't let anyone steal his joy. and he made sure he found away of saying that everyday. Oh another was if it didn't apply let it fly. He used that to disarm those that felt prosecuted by things he said. We also watch a lot of video, that demonstraded just how we let our lives and as well as those in the video's to be turned inside out, because of the poor choices made and all the New Choices they had to make to change their thinking so they could change their behavior patterns so to get back on track with there lives. Yep he had these simple little phrases he'd say everyday. He also, didn't take any Bullshit, if you would try to step around the real issues, he'd say fast and loud, Bullshit. Yes there’s one man that had figure life out and mastered not only his profession, but his personal life, with a few simple daily thought, but the magic was he believed in them with all his heart, and he was totally devoted to that which he had committed to. I regret that I didn't really leave convincing him, just how much he had done for me, I Imagine, he really gets very little recognition for his true labor, but what he gives himself with those simple disciplines, makes all the difference. Theirs allot of parents out there that will never realize what turned their Childs life around, because he a modest man, and just does what he feels he's lead to, by the lord.
Well I hope this was of some value, and if any of you ever wish you had a set of those three magic sheets he sends everyone home with, the 12 Steps, the serenity prayer, and his 26 packs of work sheets on every common problem, humanity encounters as they travel though life. just call Harris County Sheriff Department in Houston, Tx, and ask for Mr. Danny Jones of Harris County Substance abuse program, just tell them he's has been a counciler there for 8 years. or call anywhere your child is being Incarcerated because of Drugs, Anger, or just out of control, and ask how can your child get into the New Choices program such as the one Harris County in Houston, Texas 77002 offeres, I highly recommend everyone call and ask every sheriff department that question, because if they feel that are child should be removed from society because of these problems, then they are responsible now for thier welfare, sense when they need our children to fight thier wars, or to build thier cities then they have inheritied the responibility of seeing that they get every fighting chance to learn how to make New Choices, so to over come the forces that cause them to make those bad choices that have led them to thier door step, remember we pay thier salaries, we made the choice to have a Department of Correction, so we should have some voice on how are children are being guilded through the process of being corrected, not just housed and released with the same if not worse problem than they arrived with. Harris County's Guards that work with New Choice work just as hard as the Substance abuse Staff does, they strive to insteal within each and everyone of them that if you return again, this is a cake walk compared to where your headed,
Harris County take this programming serious, they even bring in to every thank, Clergymen that meet there needs to thier religioun. and what even better they address all thier medical problems, then walk them through every step needed to reentering society the proper way, The Counselors actually talk with family members, share there growth with them, and hear the issues they are concerned about when Johnny comes home, so those issues can be address throughout the length of the group meetings which are 3 to 4 hours aday and believe me these men know how to strip away eaxch others armor and yet still have heart to help mend thier scaring, even when its self infected.. So just as you go to vote on election day, call and be heard on how you vote for the care of those you love. So if your in another City or state, you should call your local Sheriff Department and ask them if they have something simular to New Choices as Harris County in Houston, Tx 77002 has. If not maybe recommend they contact New Choices and ask them to request some material on it. Living with joy is so much easier to do when those that love you become envolved with understanding what your dealing with, Drugs today are designed to addict, because those that have them manufactured do so to make profit, so since they have 60 years or so of experience in guilding our youth of ameria to addiction, and they seemly have alot of power if thier able to avoid prosecution or being shut down or stopped. So we can't just use those old ways of thinking any more, this game is serious, these are our chil;dren, not just a few here and there, I mean in the millions, they just tryed to do what they thought everyone else is doing. They had no idea, just how addicting these new drugs are.So we must fight back, by helping our authoritys to save our Children lives, through programs like New Choices.
I remember as a youth going to the movie of apocalypse Now, with Marlln Brando, and he said a line that has stuck with me all my life the "Horror of it all" Well today I walk the streets alot, and I believe its at a point in time when we admit this Drug War is the war of all wars, it's destroying the very fabric of what this world hold most sacred our family. While we staring at the sky for the possibilies of metors coming. our measuring the water level at shore, to see just how fast the Iceburgs are melting, and all of the other things that are placed on our family tables trough the Internet, TV, Media, School, even all of us talking about them as we gather, just for a second pause, and imagion what are children are hearing and digesting at 5, 7, 9, and years of age and older, I can just Imagion that just maybe we have been a bit careless on how we have dumped tp much on thier developing minds way to early, before they have even had the oppurtunity to experience the magic of life. I'm sixty three years old and I can hardly deal with the horrior of it all, I can Imagion a 10 year old dealing with it. To give you an example, I was walking tghrough my community and a mother yield out to her children to get out of the street, because a guy honked his horn to warn them, as he approached, because they were playiing ball. when the boy said to the other kids big deal were all going to be die in 2012 anyway, and a liitle girl said, why are we going to die to the young boy. I almost wanted to stop and listen to what he was tellig her and the others. But today its taboo to approach others childen, even if you know them. We have been so controlled by the Horror of it all. but if we all put are hand on our childrens shoulders and walk with them each day, so that we can asure ourselfs of the path thier on, sure will miss a few Soap Opera episodes, football game, a night out with the guys, or a party at the Famingo Lounge. but at least we sleep better and won't have to wonder what our children are up to and who thier hanging with,
What happen to our grandparents, they all seem to have disappeared lately, I see so many retirement home going up everywhere, and my mom has been in one for years, and she does as much work in hers as the staff does. Oh well its a shame they had helped raise thier childrens children for centuries, and all of a sudden they are all better off in the retirement center, isolated from childrens laughter, from being able to tell them stories are to read to them, or even answer a few of thier questions, since mom and dad are at work all the time. Well I think the rest is all up to every parent in the world, how much longer are we going to wait, are we going to just hold off till 2012, just incase they are right this time, Oh let them continue to stealing our Joy, after all theres the 2020 perdiction. Heck I believe there will aways be another to replace the ones that just seemly get swept under the rug, once they no longer obtain some effect over the masses, but can we afford the earlier affect of a young boy believeing he going to die in two years anyway, so why care! Is it possible we all might be letting others steal our Joy!!!
This is the 12 Steps of AAA
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-- that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. made a decision to turn our will and our livesover to the care of God as we understone Him
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselfves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take persononal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had A spiritual awaking as the result of the of these steps, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
I hope these might be of valve to you as they have my life and many others.
